Humorous Giganews Reviews

Find a provider that's faster and more reliable with this much retention, and I'll let you have my wife.

Mat - Morgantown, West Virginia

Giganews is faster than a hobo on a ham samich. Giganews is more stable than a Republican's love for big business. Giganews is a better value than buying Paris Hilton two martinis. Giganews has more options than a lonely Kardashian on a Friday night. You're doing God's work people. Keep it up.

Jeff - Chicago, Illinois

Giganews makes you feel NOT like a loser. Ever owned a Ferrari? Yeah, I haven't either....but don't feel bad, because you can have GIGANEWS. It may not give you that sex-appeal that a red sports car can, but it can give you that jaw-dropping experience of going 180MPH on the straightaway. Giganews is THAT fast, THAT unique with all of the services offered. Thanks Giganews, for making me feel like NOT a loser.

Shaun - Logan, Utah

Every time I log into Giganews, I get that wonderful metallic taste in my when you stick a 9v battery to your tongue. My eyeballs jitter and my skin tingles. Giganews is blazingly fast, always at the ready, crazy-awesome value-packed, and has data retention into the 4th dimension! omgwtfbbq!!

Michael - Pensacola, Florida

Why is Giganews the best service? Hmm thats like asking why put butter on toast, or why put the cherry on top? Thank you Giganews for all your amazing services!

Daniel - Edmonton, Canada

I've been a member for almost 11 years. The only thing I've done longer in that time period is being married (20 years) and my current job (14 years). I only stick with the good ones.

Mike - Elk Grove, California

In 1994, a crack commando unit was sent to usenet by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade and there news servers provide the longest binary and text retention in the world with the fastest speeds. Today, On May 2nd, they will become the first Usenet provider to store 1000 days of Usenet retention and survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can subscribe... GIGANEWS.

Wesley - Swindon, United Kingdom

With life and it's daily stress, the one thing I like best is about Giganews is now non-stressful their service is. And customer support is flawless! I wish my husband was as attentive :) Thanks so much for years of superior service! May the force continue to be with you!

Carolann - Analomink, Pennsylvania

Giganews is the bomb that doesn't blow people up but instead gives them unlimited usenet service which you must admit is a much nicer kind of bomb though probably not as effective for military applications.

Jon - Austin, Texas


Belloni - Segrate, Italy

Giggity-Giggity-GIGAnews! With built in SSL or VPN capabilities and retention of over 1 year, GIGANEWS is second to NONE when it comes to usenet feeds.

Joseph - N. Merrick, New York

You serve files like Dominos serve pizza. Exceptionally well and in 30 minutes or less!

Eddy - Southborough, United Kingdom

All my friends moan that it takes them so long to download files, I sit there looking smug as shout out “I USE GIGANEWS!”. Enough said!

Heydar - Hove, United Kingdom

Before Giganews, I was unhappy in my life. Now, my friends and my girlfriend look at me with respect.

Fly - Benfeld, France

Giganews Rocks My World! I wish my Girlfriend was more like Giganews, Simple and easy to get along with :)

Tony - Gloucester, United Kingdom

Get the ship from “Pirates of the Caribbean,” re-christen it “Giganews,” and ride it down the slipway from a clifftop to the sea with a flintlock pistol in one hand and a Wii remote in the other, long hair streaming and an mp3 player in your ears. That's what the Usenet is like. It's rowdy, rough-and-tumble and loaded with people you can learn from. If you're a fool you'll be chased back to the commercial pap that is the World Wide Web. But if you can soar, you'll quickly find the wings.

Larry - Watervliet, New York

For those who love the best things in life there's Rolls Royce cars, champagne, dark chocolate and Diamond membership with Giganews.

Bryan - Manyooth, IE

Creditcard: $40 per year Fast internet connection: $60 per month A Giganews Diamond account: 34,99 per month Access to a 1000 days of UseNet: Priceless!!!

M.J. - Bleiswijk, Netherlands

No-Mind style productivity. Works like magic. I'm embarrassed when other people aren't using this service, like somebody not having an email account or something.

Keith - Independence, Missouri

I salute your market domination in retention, in quality of service and support. I salute your kick-ass VPN. Mostly I salute your name sounding like it's from a Japanese anime.

Matt - London, United Kingdom

Giganews retention already was kick ass. Now it's gonna be kicking ass and taking names. Someone hand me a mop so I can clean the competitors up off the floor!

Jeffrey - Canton, Ohio

Always reliable always fast. As Tina turner sang, simply the best

Paul - Sittingbourne, United Kingdom

To quote a Tina Turner song. “Your simply the Best!” Thats why :-)

Jan - Kastrup, Denmark

Tina Turner's song Simply The Best explains it all

J.A.H. - Capelle Aan Den Ijssel, Netherlands

Giganews is so awesome, it cant be real. In fact it must be one of Chuck Norris' dreams.

Russell - Järfälla, Sweden

If Chuck Norris had to choose a usenet provider - It would be Giganews!

Jonas - Aalborg, Denmark

1000 Days?!? Is Chuck Norris running your data centers?

Eric - Genoa, Illinois

Who needs John Wayne, The Duke, The Governator or even Chuck Norris when you've got Giganews!!!

Christian - Nürnberg, Germany

Giganews is the viagra of hosts, always up, ready willing and very able to serve.

Micah - South SF, California

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